Monday, February 20, 2006

Tyler Amdahl

In my December 28th post, I said that one of the 7 things I wanted to do before I die was: "Meet my husband's brother that was adopted out".

Tyler Amdahl is my husbands 1/2 brother. L's mother gave birth to him while her other children were in foster care for 10 years. L discovered that he had another brother when he was snooping through his mother's papers as a teen. L found adoption papers that stated that his mother had given a baby boy up for adoption in 1955 or 1956(I can't remember which). He never told his brothers or his mother that he had made this discovery. I was the only person who shared this secret.

A couple of years ago L's mother, Ma, received a phone call from Tyler. He told her that his name was Tyler Amdahl and that he was currently living in California. Tyler wanted to meet his biological family. This phone call forced Ma to confess Tyler's existence to her family. L's brother's were a bit put out with him for not sharing the secret. I'm still not quite sure why L didn't tell them at the time he discovered this information.

Ma hasn't heard from Tyler since that phone call. Ma is schizophrenic, and we're not sure what she said to Tyler. He probably decided to back off after he talked to her. I tried searching for Tyler on the internet, but came up empty. So......

If anybody reading this knows Tyler, please contact us, or tell Tyler and have him contact us. You can leave a message in the comment sections of this post. You can also contact me through the email address that's connected to my profile. We'd all LOVE to meet Tyler and share our lives with him!

I realize that this is a long shot, but I have to TRY! I'm hoping that someone, who knows Tyler, will Google his name and wind up here.

20 Comments:

At 2/20/2006 7:09 PM, Blogger Davey said...

Good luck on-line momma. I really hopes this ends well.
Davey

 
At 2/20/2006 8:07 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Thanks son!

 
At 2/20/2006 8:10 PM, Blogger European said...

That sounds like a great idea. It'd be so cool to get to know this other branch of your family.

 
At 2/20/2006 9:19 PM, Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

I can't remember which website, but you can actually find people on there, for a fee. It might be worth a shot. I hope you're able to find him. :-)

 
At 2/20/2006 9:35 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said...

Ditto what Davey said. Really hoping that this works out...

 
At 2/20/2006 10:12 PM, Blogger FunkyB said...

Good idea with the Google hit thing. I may have to try that with my real dad's name.

Good luck in your search. I know how it feels to miss someone you've never met.

 
At 2/21/2006 7:07 AM, Blogger Laura said...

Notta: John's found people with that before. If you go to Yahoo People Search it will give you links to search services if it finds no results. In a way, that's sort of creepy though - that no matter how hard you might try not to be found, someone out there can type your name into the internet and find your address/phone number.

Good luck, I hope you find him.

 
At 2/21/2006 8:23 AM, Blogger Faltenin said...

Can't help, except with my wishes - so here you are, dear.

Hope it works out.

 
At 2/21/2006 5:43 PM, Blogger SME said...

I hope "Uncle Tyler" gets to meet you and Dad someday, but do you REALLY want the poor guy to have to meet the rest of the family? :S

 
At 2/21/2006 8:59 PM, Blogger Sadie Lou said...

That's so sad! I hope you guys meet up. I have half siblings out there somewhere because my "real" dad remarried and had children with his new wife but I have never had a relationship with him and I'm quite happy with my "step" dad.
I can see why other people would want to meet family though--it's just not for me.

 
At 2/21/2006 8:59 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Thanks for the encouragement everybody!
We have too little information for the search sites that have been mentioned. We don't have a birthdate, and we don't know what part of California he lives in. Plus, we have the feeling that it was a semi-shady, private adoption.

SME, he only had to talk to Grandma ONCE! ;)

 
At 2/21/2006 9:29 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Sadie, L feels that way about his father too. He has mixed feelings about Tyler. In a way I think he's jealous that Tyler got to have a life with loving parents, who wanted him.

 
At 2/22/2006 4:13 PM, Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Aw. That makes me feel sad for L.
:(

 
At 2/22/2006 6:13 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Sadie, it's taken him a lot of years to START coming to terms with his demons. It took him a LONG time to trust my love.
The upside of L's childhood is that it's made him an awesome Dad. He's a fanatic about making sure that his kids are loved and safe!

 
At 2/23/2006 9:48 AM, Blogger greatwhitebear said...

I have searched every online people search in the US and Canada, including surname variations like amdal, amdall, amdale, andahl, andal, and andall.

With the exception of a T. Andal in Ontario, absolutely nothing even close to tyler amdahl in North America.

You sure the MIL got the info correct? Cause if that is really his name, he is making a very concerted effort to not be known to anyone. And if it is an assumed name, well, usually people have REASONS to use assumed names. You might not want to know!

 
At 2/23/2006 6:47 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Thanks for doing that Mark! At least now I know that it wasn't just me.
We NEVER know with Ma. She often creates her own facts.
I am pretty sure that the last name is right. There's some people in high places connected to this whole mess. L found this out back when he discovered Ma's paperwork. Email me if you want the details.

 
At 2/25/2006 2:26 AM, Blogger Shawn said...

Wow...what a mystery. It's amazing how many twists and turns occur in people's lives.

I feel for the demon fighting L has done and probably still does. I was adopted, and even though I was lucky to land with my parents, I had a lot of issues that I didn't even realize were there. I was 'found' about a year ago and that caused me to look at all the issues I had.

Hope it all works out eventually. Things sometimes do.

 
At 2/25/2006 2:51 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Shawn, all L ever wanted, as a child, was to BELONG with a family. Now that he has one, he's NEVER wanted to go out "with the boys", or sow any wild oats. He did that in his younger days. He really enjoys being a boring Dad that stays home with his wife and kids.

 
At 3/04/2006 3:28 PM, Blogger Sagepaper said...

Does "Ma" still have the papers? That could be invaluable. I'm sorry this is so challenging to you. You have come so near to finally meeting him. It might even be possible, somehow, to get your hands on the complete phone record of that call, even if it was not collect. That is really a long shot, but it might work. I gather this has not been recent enough to remain in caller ID, even if she had it.

For levity, I will throw in the tale of the rediscovery of one of Mom's first cousins. Uncle Jay had been married, divorced, lost a son and two daughters to the wife. She told her kids all kinds of lies, including lack of child support, which he had documents to refute when Jay, Jr. showed up.

So, why did Jay Jr. show up all the way in his middle age? It was because his sack-of-doo mother was always cruel to him. The youngest, he had no memory of his father. His mother often shouted at him that he was a real son-of-a-bitch, just like his father. His sisters agreed. Finally, Jay, Jr. decided that if he were a son-of-a-bitch just like his father, he wanted to meet the son-of-a-bitch! They hit it off great!

 
At 3/04/2006 6:29 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Sage, sadly Ma doesn't even remember his date of birth, much less the day or month the phone call was made. I'm starting to suspect that she made up the phone call, as a way of telling her other kids about their brother.

 

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