My First Mother's Day

May, 1978. We were living in my mother-in-law's duplex in Minneapolis. L was in the middle of a 15-month Business Management course at the Minnesota School of Business, while working nights microfilming traveler's checks. I was baby-sitting our 13-month-old nephew for $1/hr. I also did all the sewing and mending for the entire family, in exchange for car repairs and other traded services. I also sewed all SME's clothes to supplement her wardrobe of hand-me-downs. L and I did all the yard and maintenance work on Ma's dilapidated duplex, in exchange for rent. We were living on less than $500/month, but we were ecstatically happy with our newly formed little family.

SME was 4-months-old and had just popped her first tooth on May 4th. Teething was an ordeal with SME. Each new tooth was accompanied by 104 degree fevers and severe diarrhea, which resulted in nasty diaper rash. By Mother's Day, SME had recovered from her first bout with teething and was a bundle of cooing, smiling, beautiful baby! Motherhood has always been my proudest accomplishment, and I was bursting with pride, and love, on my first Mother's Day.

My sister-in-laws planned Mother's Day. Since it was the first time in years that all 3 brothers and their families lived in the same city, we would make Mother's Day special for my MIL. That sounded like a lovely idea to me. Dinner would be a potluck. My contribution would be potato salad and my homemade baked beans. No problem! My MIL's contribution would be paper plates and silverware. Her boyfriend supplied a case of Fox Deluxe beer at $3.33/case, which I was in charge of chilling.

Mother's Day dawned beautiful, clear.....and HOT! I awoke early to turn on the crockpot full of beans that had been soaking all night. Then I peeled the potatoes I had boiled the night before, while boiling the eggs for the potato salad. Our east-facing kitchen quickly became an oven!

By noon, I had 2 gallons of potato salad chilling in the fridge, a crockpot full of beans simmering, the prepratory dishes washed, and a baby fed, bathed, and put down for a nap. L followed his normal Sunday routine by sleeping in, followed by coffee and the Sunday paper.

The festivities began at 3 p.m. We crammed 7 kids and 8 adults into Ma's tiny apartment. It was then that I discovered what my sister-in-laws contributed to our dinner. One brought a tray of cold cuts and buns. The other brought a store-bought cake and packets of Kool-Aid, which I had to mix up. Not much effort involved on their part, was there? I spent the rest of the afternoon running up and down the 2 flights of stairs to our apartment hauling beer, food, and Kool-Aid. The rest of the time I was trying to keep rowdy nieces and nephews from destroying the house, or running out in traffic, while their parents totally ignored them.

By 6 p.m. I was hot, exhausted, and more than a little miffed that L hadn't acknowledged my first Mother's Day AT ALL! It was then that the final blow fell. My in-laws decided that it would be a lovely idea to chill out in a nice, air-conditioned movie theater. Ummm....yeah.....but....what are we gonna do with the 7 kids? "No problem! You're so good with the kids, that I'm sure you wouldn't mind watching them while we go out for the evening." RIGHT; I wouldn't mind watching my 4-month-old, PLUS a 7-month, 13-month, 2-yr, 5-yr, 8-yr, and 11-yr(mentally challenged pervert). in our 3 room oven of an apartment, while you sashay off to the air-conditioned movie theater! NOT!!

I was STUNNED! I didn't say a word as I retrieved our dirty dishes and SME, and retreated to our apartment, locking the door behind me. I was sitting in front of the open kitchen window, bathing SME in my tears as I nursed her, when L appeared half an hour later:
L: What's up? You locked the door and the kids can't get in. We're gonna be late for the movie.
Me: WE?!
L: Well....yeah...there's no point in BOTH of us staying here. Why are you crying?
Me: How about it's my FIRST Mother's Day and you haven't even said "Happy Mother's Day"!
L: You're not MY mother.
I'll spare you the rest of this conversation, but suffice it to say that NOBODY went to the movies that night! I'm also happy to say that my Mother's Days have significantly improved over the years.

I don't know who set the dates for Mother's and Father's Days, but I'm certain that it was a woman. My first Mother's Day taught me to celebrate Father's Day in the same manner that Mother's Day is celebrated in our household. What goes around, comes around....mwahahaha...

What Tulips?

This was the view that greeted me when I opened the kitchen curtains this morning.

Then Hairry insisted on going out.

Then I decided to brave the elements to take this picture of the 4 inches of snow on our AC cover.


It's supposed to keep snowing for the next 30 hours, with a predicted total of 6-12 inches of snow. Our back yard was already flooded from the 2 inches of rain we got on Thursday. This weather is NOT helping to melt the frost from the soil!

Last weekend I made a to-do list for this weekend. I wrote this list while L was grilling our delicious steaks in 60F weather. Included on my list were these items:

Wash and put away winter coats
Dry and put away winter boots
Move snowblower to shed
Change lawnmower oil

I'm sooo glad that we didn't do these chores last weekend!

Deficit Spending

The snow has almost disappeared from our yard, leaving several ponds in its wake. Now we're waiting for the 4 feet of frost to melt out of the ground, so this water can soak into the soil. The snow's disappearance meant we had grilled steak for dinner last night. Ambrosia!!

We normally go out for a char-broiled steak dinner a couple of times each winter. This winter, we couldn't afford any meals out....not even Hardees or Subway. Every restaurant in our small town is feeling the squeeze of our faltering economy, including the one we work at. Eating out is the first thing to go when budgets are tight.

We've been squeaking by with $300-$400 days at our restaurant. My Boss needs $500 days to show any kind of profit. That's right; we've been struggling to break even all winter! My shift generates over 2/3 of the days' sales. My tips run between 15-20% of our sales. This means that I've been bringing home $30-$50 in tips every day this winter. Our paychecks cover the $1250/month we pay for property taxes, utilities, garage loan, and insurance. My tips pay for food, clothing, vehicle maintenance, gas, and anything else that comes up. Our tax refund is always earmarked for home repairs. This summer we MUST replace the roof on our house!

This winter our insulated garage has paid for itself. We haven't had to warm up our vehicles once, not even on -30F days! We've managed to get by on 1/4 tank of gas, every 2 weeks. We used to burn a 1/4 tank every week during the winter. We've also saved on our electric bill by not having to plug in our vehicle's block heaters.

Now that spring has arrived, new necessities are popping up. Z can't continue wearing his winter boots outside, so he obviously needs a larger pair of shoes than he was wearing last fall. He also needs a new windbreaker for rainy days. Fortunately, his sweatshirt jacket still fits.

Last Monday, I made $34 in tips. My Avon order also arrived that day...$20 worth of sunscreen, deodorant, and the only hand/body lotion I'm not allergic to. Then, my fund-raising order from the local 4-H Club arrived...$15 was the lowest priced item. Profit for the day $-1.

Tuesday, Hairry had his annual heartworm appointment at the vet's office....$80 for the test and 6 months worth of heartworm meds. I made $40 in tips that day. There's another $40 in the hole!

Both of our vehicles are 2 months overdue for oil changes. In addition, L's car is leaking antifreeze.

Fortunately, I save up $700-$1000 each summer to cover my reduced tips in the winter. With the rising cost of groceries, that fund is down to $100 now. $50 of that will pay the co-pay on glasses for Z and I tomorrow.

It looks like L will be having his cataract surgery in June. His optometrist thinks they will have to operate on both his eyes at once. L has weird eyesight, which probably won't balance correctly if they operate on one eye at a time. I'm certain that this will involve time off from work. We're hoping that the eye surgeon that travels here will schedule the surgery here, so that I won't have to take a day off to drive L 100 miles to the surgeon.

Thank God we're debt free, other than the $6000 remaining on our garage loan! We do have savings put away, but I hate to dip into that fund. Our small town economy doesn't show any signs of improving in the near future, so I'd like to leave our savings intact.

Summers are usually a busier time of year here. However, tourism is dying. In the 26 yrs my Boss has owned the restaurant, tourism has declined a little more each year. People just don't take family fishing vacations anymore.

Business picks up a bit when the snowbirds return. I wish they'd stay home and support OUR economy in the winter! Rather than tourists, we now have a group of summer residents from the Twin Cities, Chicago, and other areas. These people have artificially driven up the price of lake property so that locals can no longer afford a home on the lake. Oh well, at least the summer residents can afford to eat out once in awhile. With the high price of gas, we're not expecting a very busy summer season.

Don't Bother

I don't normally do movie reviews. SME and Wandering Coyote do a much better job reviewing movies than I ever could. After watching this film last night, I felt compelled to warn my friends.

The title of this post just about sums up my opinion of this movie. This film starts out s-l-o-w and STAYS s-l-o-w throughout its entire 158 minute running time. That's 2 1/2 hours of my life that I'll never get back. I didn't totally waste my time, as I cooked dinner through the first hour of the movie.

The plot line, the oil wars of the early 1900s, had potential. Unfortunately, the producers of this film chose their idea of artsy-fartsy, rather than developing an informational plot that would hold the viewers attention.

I should have known better. The only Daniel Day-Lewis film I've ever enjoyed was Gangs of New York. Could anybody please tell me WHY Lewis won an Oscar for this role? Lewis spent most of the film staring sullenly into the camera. I guess his portrayal of a maniacal drunk, at the end of the film, is what the Academy based their nomination on.

Was this the worst film I've ever seen? Nah, but it's found a place in my top ten.

April Showers?

I took this picture of our back yard on Thursday, before we got 3 more inches of snow yesterday. Starting Monday, we're supposed to have temps in the 50s all week. That will be a refreshing change, but I'm dreading all the resulting slop the warm weather will bring.

If you click on the picture you can see my neighbor's ramshackle garage expansion project along with some of the crap that overwhelms their yard.

My mood has been strange ever since the time changed to DST. I go through my daily routine, accomplishing all the necessary chores, but my body feels like it's going in slow motion. My brain, on the other hand, is in overdrive. A myriad of half-formed ideas are whizzing through my head. Plans for home improvement and landscape projects, blog posts, political rants, homeschool lessons, photography projects, and new recipes are all vying for my attention. Unfortunately, none of these ideas are making it to paper, or computer. My sluggish body just doesn't seem capable of keeping up with my head right now.

I hope that this is all a result of spring fever. Maybe next week's warm weather will unite my mind and body?

Spring Fever

I took this picture of our grill on the first day of spring. This view still hasn't changed much. We've had a few warm days, but they're usually followed by cold, snowy days. We haven't had steak since October. I'm really, really craving a nice grilled steak! I've already bought a lovely package of steaks that taunts me every time I open the freezer. I also bought a couple of slabs of salmon during the Lenten fish sales. I'm ready for spring activities, but all I can do is watch the snow s-l-o-w-l-y recede.

In the meantime, my brain has been working overtime trying to re-organize our schedule to fit our upcoming warm weather projects.

Last week Z and I went to the optometrist for much needed new glasses. On Friday I went to the doctor to have the 10-yr-old wart removed from the ball of my foot. I've been trying, all week, to contact Z's driver's training instructor to set up a time for his 6 hrs of behind the wheel training. L will, hopefully, have cataract surgery in April. Now, I just need to make a vet appointment for Hairry to start his heartworm meds for the summer.

Designs for CD/DVD storage, new desks for Z's computer and ours, and a workbench for the garage have been swirling around in my overcrowded brain. We hope that we can build these items before our contractor starts re-roofing our house.

Then, we'll have the rest of the summer to landscape our back yard and repair the electrical trench damage in the front yard. We'd also LOVE to fence the corner of our back yard to block out the view of our neighbor's junk.

Ideas are pouring from my head non-stop. WHEN will the weather warm up enough to put my thoughts into action?!

Happy Easter!

Here is a man who was born in an obscure village, the child of a peasant woman. He grew up in another obscure village. He worked in a carpenter shop until He was thirty, and then for three years He was an itinerant preacher. He never wrote a book. He never held an office.

He never owned a home. He never set foot inside a big city. He never traveled two hundred miles from the place where He was born. He had no credentials but Himself.

While still a young man, the tide of popular opinion turned against Him. His friends ran away. One of them denied Him. He was turned over to His enemies. He went through the mockery of a trial. He was nailed upon a cross between two thieves.

His executioners gambled for the only piece of property He had on earth while He was dying -- and that was His coat. When He was dead, He was taken down and laid in a borrowed grave through the pity of a friend.

Nineteen wide centuries have come and gone and today He is the centerpiece of the human race and the leader of progress. I am far within the mark when I say that all the armies that ever marched, and all the navies that ever were built, and all the parliaments that ever sat, and all the kings that ever reigned, put together have not affected the life of man upon this earth as powerfully as that One Solitary Life.

by James A. Francis