Monday, March 13, 2006

My Therapy



Thanks everyone for your kind comments, moral support, and advice on my previous post. I shared my emotions as a form of therapy. The only people I have discussed this with are SME and my boss, whose daughter was molested by her paternal grandfather. She, also, didn't reveal her "secret" to her mother until she was in her late 20s. My husband internalizes EVERYTHING. He said, in my comments, that he would post about this on his blog. I hope he does. He needs to get it out too. We haven't told my parents about this as my Mom has already gone bald from worrying about stupid things she can't change. I'm certain that my Dad would kill Billy, and we don't need Grandpa spending his twilight years in prison.

The other reason I posted on this subject was to help my readers. Hopefully, none of you parents have had to deal with this trauma. If you have, feel comforted that we were just as clueless as you were. SME said: "Molesters are the sneakiest people going; they seduce entire families, not just kids."

We had the "good touch, bad touch" talk with SME, sometime before she started school. She always knew that she could tell us ANYTHING, and frequently confided in us. Why couldn't she tell us THIS time? She doesn't know. As she said on her blog: "in my case it didn't come to light at all until roughly a year ago, at age 27. I kept it a secret until that time out of guilt, shame, and discomfort; like many victims, I made excuses for the person who molested me, hoping he had reformed. Since he was a veteran with alcohol-abuse issues, I felt he didn't "deserve" to be punished. I've seen other victims make the same kinds of rationalizations."

The above picture of our daughter was taken when she was 5. She thinks that was how old she was when Billy molested her. While going through our family album, I noticed that this was also the age when SME started pulling out her eyelashes. SME and I are now wondering if this was a sign.

I'm hoping that SME will take the excellent advice of Vancouver Voyeur and Bridget Jones. SME, check your email. I've sent you the address of the county attorney. Just write her a letter, explaining what happened. That way, if someone else accuses Billy of molestation, they have another victim to verify their story.
It's always bothered SME, that he is probably abusing other kids. This would be the easiest way to establish a "paper trail" of Billy's behavior for the authorities.


This is Buddy, SME's childhood guardian. We're so sorry, Buddy, that we didn't listen to you when you warned us about Billy. We should have let you chew his sorry ass up!

15 Comments:

At 3/13/2006 6:53 PM, Blogger Vancouver Voyeur said...

I'm sorry you and your family are going throught this, but I'm glad you felt secure enough to share with us. You might also want to seek out an abuse victims support group to discuss what has happened, how to deal with it, and share stories of what they did to feel empowered and take action. Good luck.

 
At 3/13/2006 8:54 PM, Blogger SME said...

I think it is time to get this on the record and hope for the best.
I didn't know about your boss's daughter, either. It must be incredibly difficult to diclose when a family member's involved.
BTW, that's a great picture of Buddy! In indoor pictures you can barely see him at all.

 
At 3/13/2006 9:06 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Thanks VV, your advice was right on!

SME, we have the same problem with Shadow. Black dogs don't show up against a dark background. He did show up better on video. ;)

 
At 3/13/2006 9:08 PM, Blogger Candace said...

Animals are truly incredible. And that picture of SME is darling. :o)

It's so hard to have those talks with your children because you don't want to take their innocence away from them on the chance that someone else is going to try. :o(

 
At 3/13/2006 9:29 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

That's what angers me the most Candace! These creeps are forcing us to tell our kids about the dark side of sex before they're able to understand the beauty of sex.
Some of them are messing with infants. How do we warn a baby?

 
At 3/14/2006 5:17 PM, Blogger Squirl said...

I don't even want to know what goes on in the sick minds of those assholes who do things like that to kids. Hope you're coping okay.

 
At 3/14/2006 6:19 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Thanks Squirl. Posting about our experience has been very therapeutic. My husband even opened up today and posted his thoughts on his blog. This is encouraging!

 
At 3/14/2006 8:14 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said...

Hope that you all feel better, tshsmom. Went through something similar as a kid at the hands of a parent. Mom still doesn't know, it'd freak her out something fierce.

SME sweetie, if you need help please go for it. Glad you're putting this on the record--those beasts don't get better with age.

Dogs are SO smart!!! Buddy deserves lots of pats and love. So do ALL of you!!

 
At 3/15/2006 3:34 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Thanks Bridg! Buddy died in 1991, after giving us 11 yrs of loving protection.

 
At 3/15/2006 7:25 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said...

OH that breaks my heart. I love doggies so damn much...

 
At 3/16/2006 6:52 AM, Blogger Vest said...

Bridget, I used to love doggies too.

 
At 3/16/2006 10:21 AM, Blogger greatwhitebear said...

Wow.. sorry i am wading in here so late. I can't imagine the emotional rollercoaster this must've put your family on.

I wish I had more to offer than a sympathetic ear.

It's an amazing thing about dogs, how good their instincts are. Kipper barks at everybody for attention, but I have only seen him growl at a couple of people. Neither were people i would want hanging around. And there was the guy who appeared to be casing the neighborhood at 2 in the a.m. Kipper almost went through a second story window to get at that guy.

I have already decided that if I ever get enough courage to actually date again, any prospect will have to pass the Kipper test first!

 
At 3/16/2006 4:07 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

That sounds just like Buddy, GWB. EVERY time he would growl at someone, he was right about their character(or lack of character). We should've listened to him!

 
At 3/16/2006 4:08 PM, Blogger Vest said...

G W Bear. One needs courage to confront Cur Rage.

 
At 3/16/2006 10:35 PM, Blogger greatwhitebear said...

I'm definately chicken

 

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