Sunday, February 17, 2008

Google Me Baby!

Please don't put tampons in the toilet poem (Have you checked Wordsworth or Tennyson?)

eating uncooked ramen (Yes, my grandson has weird eating habits!)

give hot hairry (From Bangalore, India. Move on pervert!)

can the lego studios camera be used as a webcam (Yes.)

can sniff novocaine (From the UK. Wouldn't it be easier to score some Whiteout or model cement?)

tantrum menopause (From the Antilles. Isn't it comforting to know that this is a worldwide problem?)

its cdo not ocd (Somebody agrees with Courtney!)

eve angel reformatory pics (From Italy. WHY did this search arrive HERE?)

kucinich ufo planet ashtar (More "federation" crazies!)

scrapbooking obituaries (My cousin kept my Grandma's collection. We used to make fun of Grandma's book, but it's been an invaluable tool for researching our family tree.)

elizabeth kucinich ascended masters (Again with the crazies!)

menards theme song (You gotta be kidding me! I've had several people searching for this.)

daddys men mature aged (Italians do some WEIRD searches!)

tom and val gonser (WHO?)

site to check your hours at menards employee (They're on your time card brainiac!)

irish lefse (Really? Do you know anything about this Jeannie?)

15-yr voyeur (Happy Anniversary!)

talk funny norwegian (NO, I don't have a MN accent!)

"who would buy that?" (What were they hoping to find with this search? At my blog they found dog poo ornaments.)

minnesota mom (That would be me....and Pam.)

lumber yard door shop hanging (Huh?)

"ate too many slim jims (Glutton!)

sananda and the galactic fleet (....and MORE crazies!)

head is fuzzy recovering from pneumonia (And your point is....?)

hairry mom (Hairry gets so many hits that I'm considering giving him his own blog!)

mendards (From Winnipeg. Is this the Canadian spelling of Menards?)

voyer hairry (From Czechoslovakia. Hairry has a pretty widespread fan base.)

demi's creations (Be careful what you wish for!)

wc huge turds voyeur (I understand how this search arrived here, but WHY are they searching for this?!)

voyeurs boy 5-15 age photo (From Amman, Jordan. Stay on your own side of the pond you friggin' pervert!)

sme pizza (OK, I HAD to Google this one for myself. Yes, there is such a franchise. Maybe you should sue them for royalties SME?)

on what page is cower written in the great gatsby (Apparently a clever teacher has found a way to make sure the kids actually READ the book. Nice try kid; now go read the book!)

cherie's blog (Did this guy from Argentina find you Cherie?)

chocolate dog turd candy (That would be a unique alternative to our ornaments.)

extremely hairry (From Portugal. Yes, he is!)

creaplu (Netherlands. No clue!)

longshoreman walk the plank blogspot (Estonia. I swear like one at times.)

star fleet galactic federation 2012 (Dec 21st to be exact. Why don't you camp out at one of the landing spots? It's never too early to stake out a front row seat!)

mud wrestling vancouver (Come spring you can use my front yard.)

"unix performs better" (Zombieslayer and my son think so.)

"payback's a bitch acronym (That might come in handy.)

fun stuff to do in menards (I dunno....smell the cedar boards?)

belle starr ancestors (I seem to recall that one of my readers IS a descendant. GWB maybe?)


At 2/17/2008 1:00 PM, Blogger Hammer said...

Those are funny. I used to get similar ones but for some reason all the juicy ones stopped.

At 2/17/2008 1:34 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

That's weird. With your topics and comments, I'd think YOU would get a lot of juicy ones. ;)

At 2/17/2008 1:47 PM, Blogger Courtney said...

BWAHAHAHA!!! It's true, it IS CDO.

Irish lefse is probably Boxty, an Irish potato pancake.

At 2/17/2008 3:22 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Courtney, don't get cocky, it's only ONE person. ;)

Boxty, eh? I'll have to check that out. Thanks!

At 2/17/2008 5:53 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said...

Boy you've got readers from all over!!!!

Weird stuff tho...

At 2/17/2008 6:48 PM, Blogger Pam said...

I'm glad someone else attracts weirdos... Not that I'm wishing weirdos on you, but dang, I get hits from some pretty strange searches. Lots of porn searches with "Pam" in them (looking for Pamela Anderson, maybe?). They must be so disappointed when they arrive at my blog. Ha!

Hey, we just got back from a weekend "up north" at Leech Lake. I have a feeling we were still miles and miles away from you, though.

At 2/18/2008 9:57 AM, Blogger tweetey30 said...

Those are hiliarious. I still havent gotten any hits or some how mine doesnt work. I had SME look and she said there was nothing wrong with it. I dont know whats up. but oh boy are these hiliarious. Esp about Hairry. I like the commentary on the side about him..

At 2/18/2008 3:05 PM, Blogger Jeannie said...

You do get some strange ones! And no - I haven't a clue what Irish lefse is. doesn't sound Irish but might be from the south???? ok - looked it up - the Irish have potato bread sometimes called farls. It's very tasty (had some this morning in fact). Usually eaten with bacon, eggs, fried tomato. It looks smaller in diameter than the Norwegian variety and thicker - almost more like a pancake but not leavened at all. Courtney's Boxty (i looked that up too) isn't quite the same - that one sounds like a german potato pancake to me. The potato bread or farls listed in Wikipedia is just plain wrong wrong wrong. At least in Belfast.

At 2/18/2008 4:34 PM, Blogger Mike S said...

Those are great comic fodder! The weirdest I had was a sudden run on hits after blogging on 'hot dogs', some REALLY SIQ PUPPIES out there!!!:)

At 2/18/2008 5:46 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Bridg, fortunately, the weirdest ones don't come from our continent!

Pam, I'm sure that my searchers aren't expecting to get a picture of our DOG, when they Google all those kinky "hairry" topics either. Serves 'em right!

You were still over 2 hrs away from us. I'll email my location in case you get farther north. ;)

Tweets, I still have your sitemeter passwords, so I'll check it out too.

Hairry doesn't realize how popular he is.

Jeannie, I looked up boxty too. I agree; it does sound like a german potato pancake. Now I'll go check on farls. ;)

Mike, I can only imagine the searches you got on THAT topic! Like Pam said, they must be pretty disappointed when they see our blogs. ;)

At 2/18/2008 8:36 PM, Blogger Cherie said...

I guess I'm lucky then, no weirdos searching my site. Happily I do get a lot of people searching for quote sources or for the quotes themselves, or other such information. Makes me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile with my time while I'm here. ;)

You get some funny funny stuff, Tshs!

At 2/18/2008 8:42 PM, Blogger VV said...

Hey, how do you know what search terms brought people to your site?

At 2/18/2008 9:33 PM, Blogger Ben said...

Great post, its amazing the things you can find on Google. Oh and interesting fact I found out about Google tshsmom, just because something is ranked very high on that list doesn't mean its relavent. People/companies PAY to have that honor! Seriously I heard about it from my public speaking teacher and I verified it. Maybe thats why Google's stock is $6-700 a share?

At 2/19/2008 5:24 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Cherie, I get a lot of TS searches too. I just wish those people would stick around and ask their questions.

I've also had other TS parents contact me by email. It's so great to share our struggles and ideas!

VV, I'll email you.

Ben, thanks! It's nice to have you back in circulation. I really missed you!
I read that somewhere about Google too. I've noticed that the top few results are usually sites that want to sell something related to my search. When I'm searching for info, this can be annoying.

At 2/19/2008 6:06 PM, Blogger SME said...

I think I will sue that pizza place. If Starbucks can sue some chick named Bucks for naming her coffeeshop after herself, why can't I sue people using SME to sell pizzas with meat on 'em?!

I'm not curious about the hairry voyeur stuff - blech!! - but I am curious about "ate too many Slim Jims". Were they looking for a magic remedy?

I also wonder how you get so many of the Galactic Federation searchers. Aren't there very many Galactic Federation sites yet? You'd think with a galaxy-wide membership, there'd be tons...

At 2/19/2008 9:58 PM, Blogger Gardenia said...

Some people do some far out searches - I was about ready to apologize for my plant songs - but now no need, right? Somebody surely will be googling for singing plants soon......................

At 2/19/2008 11:16 PM, Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Unix does circles around Windows. That's why every OS except for Windows now is either Unix, Unix-based, or fake Unix (like Linux). It's been proven again and again.

As for Menards and that Canadian spelling, must be their education system. Although we can't really talk. :(

At 2/20/2008 3:28 PM, Blogger zydeco fish said...

I am always amazed at what people are searching for and how they do it.

At 2/20/2008 6:02 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

SME, don't forget to cut me in on your lawsuit! You might want to put VV on retainer. ;)

Maybe Ashtar is checking on my state of enlightenment?

Gardenia, you did a good deed today; you contributed to Google fodder. ;)

ZS, our system isn't doing so hot either. Out of the 15 kids in Z's driver's ed class, he was the ONLY one who could pronounce and define PERCEIVE. These kids gotta stop texting and start READING!

ZF, me TOO! I'm convinced that most of them are marginally literate. :(

At 2/21/2008 10:10 PM, Blogger SME said...

You'll get something from my about some pizza? ;D

There should be a rule: If you're going to have a freaky fetish, learn how to spell it!!

I keep getting searches for "camel syphilis". It was weird enough the first time, but now it turns out that more than one person is really concerned about it.

At 2/23/2008 12:49 PM, Blogger Cherie said...

I don't know if that particular guy from Argentina found me but I have had a bunch of hits from down there. Funny...

(I don't know how I missed that in your post the first time.)

How's Z's class going? Are they teaching him how to get in and out of the car with a long black leather coat on, yet? ;)

At 2/24/2008 12:19 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

SME, I don't think pizza mails well. :(
I don't think the freaks are too smart, hence the poor spelling and syntax. Maybe my searchers had a hairry English teacher, which distracted them from their lessons?

Cherie, I think your Argentine lurker should learn how to bookmark. ;)

Z passed his class!!
Now he needs to take the written test, which is only offered on Tuedays. THEN, he can practice with his coat when he takes his behind-the-wheel class.

At 2/26/2008 11:15 AM, Blogger Squirl said...

Some of these are just bizarre. I need to do this one of these days.

That was fun.

At 2/26/2008 6:40 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Squirl, you should check on yours. I'll bet you have some dandies too.

At 2/28/2008 8:13 PM, Blogger Wandering Coyote said...

"wc huge turds voyeur"


I've stopped doing these posts because they self-perpetuate.


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