Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Listen Up Menards!

Today, my blog got a hit from Elk Mound, WI. Someone in Elk Mound Googled "Menards" and arrived here. Elk Mound is where I mail all my Menards rebates, and is 10 miles from Menards corporate headquarters in Eau Claire.

This may be a coincidence. If not, "the-powers-that-be-at-Menards" can email me at: Google directs people with questions about Menards products to my blog at least twice a day. Today's searches involved "Menards baseboard" and another for "wood trim Menards". I would be more than happy to advise these people about your products on my blog...for a price!

On a lighter note, here are some of the recent Google searches that have linked people here:

how many calories in humbugs

how to write a poem about the catcher in teh rye (WHY would you want to?)

homemade pig charcoal girl (Anybody up for a pig roast? Charcoal girl is hosting it...I think.)

what's tourette's (This comes from a public school in WA state!)

what should you do when a kid have a clearing his throat tic (Let 'em tic! Inhibiting tics only makes them come out in a rush later. Your kid will have a lot worse tics than this, believe me!)

tourette makes you smart (Z would agree with this.)

nicole kidman flange (HUH?! I don't remember EVER mentioning Nicole!)

toilets at menards (Do you wanna handle this one Courtney?)

stardust camperland (From Switzerland. Sorry, it's not there anymore. Good friends of ours managed Camperland before it closed though.)

number of heartworm cases in las vegas (What's up with all the Vegas questions?)

picture skunk den (Feel free to bring your camera and stick YOUR head in our skunk's den!)

kathleen turner thong romancing (I don't think I've mentioned Kathleen either.)

2020 nigerian scams puppy (This came from the US Environmental Protection Agency.)

how do kids handle tourette (Quite well with parental support!)

robitusson, pearls, bronchitis (This is hilarious, as the search came from the MAYO CLINIC!)

how to move entertainment centers when installing new carpet (We use the "Sliding Robots" we bought at Menards for $4.)

tourettes kid toys (WHY would they need special toys?)

"taller than my husband" (WHY would someone Google this?)

is Jim Cantori divorced (Who cares?!)

how to catch the crud illness (Just hang around my customers!)

adult ero searches (From the UK. See below.)

corpses in love (This search linked to my "100 things I love about my husband" post. Thanks a lot Google!)

fire extinguisher that shots coolwhip (We prefer spooning ours out of the plastic container.)

pigpen crack addiction (Are you referring to the messy little guy in the Peanuts comic strip?)

tourette car magnet (Dunno, but I wouldn't mind a clever Tourette's fridge magnet.)

aaron tourettes (Aaron doesn't have Tourettes; Z does!)

aged to perfection 22 (That's not even dry behind the ears, much less aged!)

ocd re arrange furniture (No, but I have a bi-polar son-in-law that rearranges paintings on the wall while sleepwalking.)

hairry moms ( I haven't seen Hairry's mom for 6 years.)

"sam woods" homeschooling (Ewwww! Someone in the UK must know a different Sam Woods than I do!)

did howard Hughs suffer from tourettes (It's possible. We already know that he had OCD.)

obama and the galactic federation (I've been getting a LOT of these searches, along with Morgellons, and all the terms that were in the glossary I posted.)

blogger bi-focals 2007 (I'll refer this one to GWB, who refuses to get bifocals! heehee)

pictures of someone with tourettes ( I have them!)

dress for winter travel to usa (From India. Yup, I'm the one to ask this question!)

love you daddys aged gallery men (From Italy. I don't wanna know!)

lutefish (I find it hysterically funny that this search comes from Fiekkefjord, Norway! What could I possibly tell a Norwegian about lutefisk?!)

rothschild married outside family disowned (Dunno, but I can link you to some "New World Order" sites that would have an opinion on this topic.)

galactic federation starships in our skies ( I TOLD YOU that I get a lot of these!)

dog moaning while couple makes love (Nooo, but we used to have a dog that growled at L during those times.)

hypercondria "find a doctor" (How about "find a dictionary"?)

EDIT: I don't know what's up with the huge space under my post, but Blogger won't let me remove it. :(


At 1/09/2008 9:06 PM, Blogger Hammer said...

Those are some wild searches. I used to track mine but they started weirding me out.

Kathleen turner in a thong? eek

At 1/09/2008 10:26 PM, Blogger Candace said...

You sure get some crazy hits!

I can only think of one reason to write a Catcher in the Rye poem, and that would be if it went something like this:

The other day I met this guy
Who liked The Catcher in the Rye.
I simply can't imagine why.
*I* found it boring, dull and dry!

Or something. . .^_^

At 1/10/2008 7:09 AM, Blogger Laura said...

Too funny! It's so strange what people search for. I'll never forget "Seated forced enema kit" on my search results... whaaa??

At 1/10/2008 9:51 AM, Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

How do you know about the searches that lead to your blog? I'd be interested to see if anything gets linked to mine. The way you feel about Menard's is how I feel about OSH. I go out of my way to avoid Lowe's and Home Depot. :-P

At 1/10/2008 10:45 AM, Blogger tweetey30 said...

I had this problem with the huge space and Ryan told me how to fix it and now I dont remember how.. But those searches are just plain but weird.. LOL...

At 1/10/2008 3:39 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Hammer, I get pissed off at the insensitive Tourette's searches. The rest are just plain funny, in a weird kind of way.

Candace, PERFECT poem! I know the only reason that search landed here was because of our discussion about how we hated that book.

Laura, I often wonder what some of these searchers are hoping to find..."corpses in love"?

Notta, do you have Sitemeter installed on your blog?

Menards is the only choice we have here, other than the local lumberyards that cater to contractors. :(

Tweets, Blogger was flaky last night. It could have been worse. I could have lost my whole post.

At 1/10/2008 5:36 PM, Blogger Wandering Coyote said...

Those are pretty good! Nearly as interesting as mine. It really is strange what Google spits out, but I think it also takes into account words that appear in your comments, too.

At 1/10/2008 5:54 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

WC, they do use words found in comments. I get a lot of hits for pleurisy. The only time this was mentioned here was by Sadie, in the comments.
You're still the queen of "naked" and "circumcision" searches. ;)

At 1/10/2008 6:20 PM, Blogger SME said...

What is a flange and why does Nicole Kidman need one? :P

At 1/10/2008 7:44 PM, Blogger Vancouver Voyeur said...

How bizarre, how totally bizarre.

At 1/10/2008 8:04 PM, Blogger Squirl said...

I haven't read your entire post. I will be back. But I did have trouble when I first tried to get to your blog. Maybe it has something to do with that big space at the end.

At 1/11/2008 12:32 AM, Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

We should have a vote on the best one.

I would nominate a few - Nicole Kidman's flange for one, taller than your husband, obama and the galactic federation.

I'd have to say lutefish though, because I have no idea what a lutefish is.

At 1/11/2008 10:11 AM, Blogger tweetey30 said...

Zombie if we are talking about L here most people are taller than him..LOL.. Sorry Tshs I had to put that there.. Just picking on poor L.

At 1/11/2008 3:37 PM, Blogger Rhea said...

This makes me want to go and see if people look up weird stuff and find me. I don't think I've ever looked.

At 1/11/2008 3:56 PM, Blogger Laura said...

Notta: Google Analytics will work as well - and since Google now owns blogger, they play very nicely together. Some variation of a tool that tracks your traffic is all you need.

At 1/11/2008 4:02 PM, Blogger Blue said...

Well, at least they aren't as bad as some of WC's but bad enough.

I'm glad that I don't know how to do this....

Hammer's right. KT in a thong???

At 1/11/2008 8:14 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

SME, I got that hit because I mentioned that the flange bolts were included in "toilet in a box". I doubt that Nicole does her own plumbing. ;)

VV, there's some strange people out there! ;)

Squirl, I was having trouble last night too. I think Blogger was just acting flaky again. :(

ZS, lutefisk is cod that has been processed into a jellied consistency. They used to use lye to accomplish this.
Scandinavians eat boiled or baked lutefisk as a Christmas delicacy. It's nasty, trust me!

My favorite is "how to catch the crud illness". I want to know this guy's definition of "crud".

Rhea, with some of the things you've discussed, I'll bet you get some dandy search hits!

Tweets, L prefers "vertically challenged". ;)

Blue, now that I've mentioned 'circumcision' here, I'll probably get some of WC's weirdos here. Oops!

At 1/11/2008 8:41 PM, Blogger SME said...

Obama and the Galactic Federation is my nomination for weirdest, tho Corpses in Love is a close second... ;P
Maybe the crud guy and the "hypercondria" guy should start a group or something.

At 1/11/2008 9:32 PM, Blogger mister anchovy said...

Menards, huh. Any for DL Menard, the Cajun singer and rocking chair maker?

At 1/12/2008 7:09 PM, Blogger Blue said...

Tshsmom, I was tempted to do a post full of nutty phrases just to see what happens.


At 1/13/2008 7:38 PM, Blogger Gardenia said...

Those were fun! I don't have that sort of tracking - it would be fun if I did - - - maybe. I remain anonymous to most of the world.

At 1/14/2008 1:44 AM, Blogger SME said...

OK, I had to google it. Couldn't resist. And it turns out there really "is" a Galactic Federation. But I don't know if it's officially backing Obama or not...

At 1/15/2008 5:36 PM, Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

WOW! You get some very interesting people coming to your blog through Google....!

Thanks for telling me about Vancouver Voyeur....I hope all is ookay with her....That is quite serious to have to delete your blog...!
If you feel you can share more about it with me, please e-mail me at:
myrtillo1984 AT yahoo DOT com

At 1/17/2008 9:41 PM, Blogger IEAT_SNOWMANPOOP said...

you don't even want to know the searches I get lol

At 1/18/2008 4:30 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Snow, yeah, I do! ;)

At 6/14/2008 12:22 AM, Blogger Erin said...

I wanted to know if by any chance you would be interested in doing an unbiased review of our product.

If you agree we will send you a product sample so that you can try it and then write a review about it.

Please let me know if you are interested.

Thank you

At 7/08/2008 4:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Menards is a chain of home improvement stores. I found out that your blog concerns the company. I did not have a chance to personally deal with the products and the services of Menards, but I did read a lot about it. The reviews are more negative, than positive. Consumers are not happy with the quality of goods and maintenance services. Check out for more information.


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