On My Mind....
BIG STUFF
Communication is non-existent at our house right now. NOBODY listens to me!
My mother insists on rubbing my nose in their sale of the cabin.
Z ruined his $189 MP3 player, that we gave him for Christmas, by trying to tweak the firmware with an unauthorized program.
Our boss has no clue how to efficiently run a business. I worry that one of these days her overspending will catch up with her, and L and I will be without jobs.
100% of the homeschooling is falling on me right now.
I now have arthritis in my ankle, in addition to my knees, wrist, and fingers. I pray that this won't prevent me from working someday.
L's schizophrenic mother is having another bad spell. Two months ago she thought our sister-in-law was trying to poison her husband. Now she thinks SIL is trying to poison her and my stepson. They all live in the same duplex, so this is a real picnic for everyone involved!
Little Stuff
I still have boxes of Christmas ornaments cluttering our living room.
Our microwave is acting goofy.
Garage door openers do NOT work well in the cold.
The dog's ear is infected AGAIN.
The dog has become petrified of the heat registers and cowers in a "safe spot" between them, until someone escorts him past them.
Solutions?
My family expects me to solve all these problems.
We haven't had a vacation for 3 years! We'd LOVE to take some time off when SME's family visits this summer. Right now, that doesn't look too promising. There's nobody to replace us at work. I've worked 11 out of 14 days, year 'round, for the past 27 years. In that time, I've taken 2 vacations, and 6 weeks off when Z was born.
I pour my whole being into my family and home. Right now, my glass is empty. Would someone kindly refill me?
posted by tshsmom @ 10:29 AM
24 comments
24 Comments:
I dont have your solutions but if you need a friendly voice to talk to I am here. Call anytime. I think I e-mailed you our phone number. I hope things get better soon. You are always welcome to come visit and stay for a weekend if you like. It sounds like you both need a really long vacation. Well we will talk about that in March. Take it easy or try to and I will write more later. Have to go finish my cleaning I didnt get to last night. LOL.... Lots of love N and family.
Oh dear sweetie - you sound about as in the dumps as I am right now! Sometimes it is not fun at all to be the "strong mainstay" of the family. They just won't allow you to have a moment to fall apart, ya gotta keep marching even in exhaustion, etc. What's with the dog? I'm sorry, I almost giggled thinking about heater vent paranoia - - I mean I think I am relating to him/her!
I am at public library right now doing my job apps & research for week, finally found a computer that works! (Been here an hour almost and no death threat! Hooray!) There is lots going on but I worry about stalker floating around comments looking for ammunition, so won't comment on whats going on. Things are pretty wierd as I try to get closure from the County situation. Hubby is just about totally silent - guess he thinks I might ask for help.
Well, chin up - if I could, I would come grab you and we would go do something silly and fun - like get waxed, or a massage, or have a wild tropical drink complete with umbrella or something!
Babe - you definitely need a holiday. Your employer is required by law to give you vacation! (Unless things are drastically different in the States) It's her responsibility to keep things going without you.(What would she do if you got sick or injured?) If there is a slower time for business, you could suggest she shut down for a week here and another there but insist that if she does not plan it, you are going to schedule your time off (paid) yourself. (Check with your ministry of labour if there is one for your rights - probably have them online). You can't do a thing about her being stupid I'm afraid. Keep your eyes open for another opportunity as you might have to one day anyway.
Shrug your shoulders at your kid. Stupid is as stupid does. It's his loss not yours if he ruined his gift. Do not replace it or offer any help in this regard.
Turn a deaf ear to your mother. Shake it off (easier said than done)
Don't know what to do about your MIL. Have her meds checked?
Homeschooling is beyond me. Could you hire a tutor for one day a week to ease the load a bit?
I don't know how impractical these suggestions are but perhaps they will lead you to something that will work because Honey - you need a break before you needs meds yourself. I'll bet your arthritis is flaring up because of the stress.
If I could come and fill your glass I gladly would. I know how you feel, though, and I know you'll get through it. Most of this stuff you have absolutely no control over, so there's a lesson here in letting go. I know it sounds trite but as someone who has had to practice radical acceptance a lot these days, it is helpful. Being in chronic pain I'm sure is just exacerbating everthing. I think the bottom line here is that you have to take care of you, or else your glass will keep getting emptier and emptier. You cannot function when your reserves are low.
Thinking about you and sending you all the good energy I can muster!
Tweets, I'll be calling you one of these days since you won't be able to come home in March.
The dog is rather comical, but after awhile it gets annoying. I'm sure that I can train this out of him if I had the time.
Gardenia, you hit the nail right on the head!! My guys would sit back and let the house fall down around their ears. This sounds just like your hubby's silence. They backslide like this until I lose it and have a hissy fit. Then they act all surprised that I've been stressed out.
Your stalker hasn't been around here since she dropped her blog. I've been watching for her.
If I had the time off and the money, I'd be out there in a flash to help with your trip home. We would have a BALL!!
Jeannie, I've been telling my Boss, who's also a good friend, that not having enough help is gonna bite her in the ass when one of us gets sick! She's been working 16 hr days all winter just to save money on wages.
She is required to give us vacation time, but isn't required to pay us. That's the catch right now, we're saving up so we can take time off this summer, when our daughter's here.
Some of these things are starting to fall together. I was already following your advice, before you gave it. Thanks; you're one smart lady!
The kid admits that he learned a valuable, and expensive, lesson.
The pain of my parents selling the cabin out from under us is getting less painful.
MIL hasn't taken her meds for 30 yrs. That's one of the reasons we moved 300 miles away from them. We're adamant that she will NOT move in with us!!!
Hubby is supposed to be shouldering half the homeschool load. This WILL HAPPEN...SOON!!!
I'll bet you're right about the stress/arthritis. I hadn't thought of that.
Like I told Gardenia, I'll snap soon, and have a whopper of a hissy fit...then things will fall into place again. WHY do I have to be a total bitch, before I get help?!
Thanks sooo much for the supportive advice!!!
Thanks WC!! You're right. A LOT of this I just have to let go. I need to look up that St Francis of Assisi poem again...the one about having the wisdom to know what you can change.
LOL, I have the feeling that the energy I've been sending you, will collide with the energy you're sending me, somewhere in Sask. Do you think this could solve global warming?
Yeah, but look how long it took her to get over her firetruck phase!
Did you know that you're missing an initial? ;)
I'm sitting here trying to think what to say. It's so hard that you have to have all this crap on you. Why does life have to suck like this sometimes?
Why do people always expect the woman to be the one who takes charge and have all of the solutions.
If virtual hugs could fill your glass. If so, your glass should be running right over.
Anyway here are some more virtual {{{{HUGS}}}}
Take care, hon.
Your MIL sounds like mine except for one thing shes always pushing one of us to take meds instead of herself. LOL.. Its sort of funny when you think of it. Well our trip home was cancelled. I am in lala land about that one. I will explain more later I think. i was looking so forward to it. Oh well I am not even sure if we will make it in July like I wanted to see SME and R. But oh well sometime. Things will get better. N.
Sorry forgot to ask if anyone knows how to save roses. I want to save three of them or dry them out and save them???? Any suggestions are accepted. Thanks. Tweets.
Hey, what's up with my name? SM? :(
I think the poison thing will pass as long as nobody dies, and that probably includes neighbors, animals, and anyone Auntie has ever met. But I still think Grandma should be on the minor list, since she doesn't live with you, Thank God.
Crazy family too huh? Yep, we share the same DNA. Must have been some hanky panky goin' on across the Swedish/Norwegian border among our distant ancestors. I tend to separate myself from the crazies when it gets to be too much. I have to look out for my immediate family and myself first. Then when I get my second wind, I will try to deal with the crazies. Hope your situation turns around soon. A hot bath is always a nice, temporary distraction from the chaos. I'm a firm believer in Calgon moments. ;-) Barring that, run away from home. We've got a sofa-sleeper and wonderful beaches here in the winter. :-)
You, know what go ahead and have that hissy fit, get their attention, so they look at you goofy as they have no clue what bug bit you. Some times, they just can not even begin to understand that your up to your eyebrows in crap. At least they will take notice. Hay whats up with her? Mine when getting his attention has been accomplished, he just looks at me with those big blue eyes and says Im sorry, with really no clue at all. So go ahead and let it out. Vacation, that would be a great thing but start small, take a weekend for your self if its pratical. p :)
You need a refill on your glass??? It's a two day drive to MN, but I've got some great Scotch!!! ;)
(Tweetey, hang them upside down in a cool, dry place like a basement.)
Love ya Squirl; THANKS!!!!
I guess it's the old adage of we need bad times to appreciate the good times. As I crawl out of my hole, I'm realizing that...AGAIN!
It took me a long time to realize that men are just wired different, and we women are the "go to" people. BUT.... can't men step up to the plate and take over for us just ONE DAY A YEAR?
Tweets, I can really empathise with you. It's all part of being a homeowner. That's why we couldn't take any time off this year; we built a garage instead.
VV, that's exactly the comment I wanted to make at your blog, after reading your family reunion post! Unfortunately, blogger hasn't let me log in for the last 2 days...UNLESS I signed on to the new blogger.
Between L's family and mine, we have about every mental disorder known to man. It's no accident that we live 300 miles away from the insanity of his family. We can only handle THAT MUCH chaos in small doses. :(
L taught me, years ago, that OUR family is our immediate family. Like you, he said that we worry about the rest, after we take care of ours. GREAT advice!
Don't be surprised if we show up on your doorstep sometime! The same goes for you guys. We have one of the world's best kayaking and canoeing environments 1 mile from our doorstep.
Courtney, make that a rum and YOU'RE ON! I'd meet you in ND, but there's nothing to see there! ;)
I hope things are getting better slowly for you. Trips are expensive esp that we dont stay with my mom and dad because of there house. Its not that its to small. Its because it stinks. You know they are talking about moving out here to GB again. I dont want them here. I have told her this before too. Sorry for complaining. I love her but I really dont want her living this close again. That is why we moved five hundred miles away. That is where the crap started hitting the fan with J and I when we first got together. Oh well. i will deal with it when the time comes. Like I said hope things are getting better slowly.
Yep, I've heard the same thing about roses: Hang them upside down until they dry. Haven't tried it myself but I'm sure it works.
VV's right - look out for yourselves, and let the rest of the family deal with their own craziness. Each one of those 300 miles is a blessing, heh heh!
Ack! My heart goes out to you. I won't say all the cliche'd sayings because they won't help and, if you're like me, they're the last thing you want to hear. Just know that I'm thinking of you and hoping things get better. :-)
Sorry, hun. Sounds like things have been tough on you lately. I hope you can rest and relax and have things return to normalcy soon.
Hey I posted something today with you in mind. Enjoy!
WTF?! Why did some of your identities change to anonymous? And where the hell are the avatars?! Yeah, yeah, "new blogger" is sooo wonderful.
Mine changed some people into anonymous, too. Just a glitch! It'll pass! ;)
OH SWEETIE!!!! ((((((((HUGS))))))))) so very sorry about the rough spots!!! will e mail you my number too!! Holy crapola there must be a wrinkle in the universe.....love anonymous' ideas....esp re arthritis
Thanks Songbird! Got your number. We WILL have a bitchfest as soon as my voice comes back!
That very wise anonymous lady was Jeannie! She became anonymous when I switched my blog over.
Ts the rum guzzling chain smoking pisspot.You are such a ssooooo happy soul.
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