Saturday, April 14, 2007

Reality SUCKS!!!!

K holding Z, at his baby shower.


My 2nd best friend, in this 1-horse town, died at 10:30 last night.
We ALL know where she is now, no question!
I'd say "Rest In Peace", but I KNOW that K isn't resting. She's far too active to be resting on her first day in heaven! Knowing K, she's probably trying to find a way to comfort all of us who are left on earth without her.
I'm happy that she's reunited with her parents and sister. I'm grateful that she didn't have to die of Alzheimers, as she feared. I'm grateful that her pain didn't last too long, and that she didn't linger for weeks in a coma.

After posting last night, we received an update on K's condition: she only had a 30% chance of making it through the night. When the phone rang, early this morning, it took both of my shaking hands to pick up the receiver....I knew what the caller would say....K's gone.

Boss and I held it together pretty well with each other until Boss said: "We have to bake the beans for K's funeral." I said: "Oh my God, this isn't a joke anymore! We promised to serve baked bean sandwiches at her funeral." Reality SUCKS!!

Ever since we started catering funerals, K said that she wanted a simple funeral. She loves smearing cold, leftover baked beans on toast. One day, while we were cooking for a funeral, K said that she wanted us to serve baked bean sandwiches at her funeral. She must have repeated this request 1000 times, over the last few years. It was an inside joke with the 3 of us....now it's REALITY! K knows that I think eating after a funeral is barbaric. I can't do it! She told me, with that damned twinkle in her eyes, that: "You WILL eat a baked bean sandwich at my funeral, cuz I SAID SO!" Alright K. I'll choke down a sandwich. But only because I KNOW you'll be watching. If I don't, I know that you'll find a way to mischievously get back at me. You do, after all, know where I live and work! I'll eat that sandwich, fighting back my tears, swallowing down the lump in my throat, because I LOVE YOU K!

I can't bring myself to use the past tense when referring to K; I just talked to her Thursday! Boss and I have talked, and laughed, with K at least 5 days a week for the past 20 years! The next few weeks at work will be extremely difficult to bear. We will constantly be waiting for K to walk through the door... or we'll want to remember to tell her something...or the returning snowbirds will ask about her...or a customer will want to know why she isn't baking doughnuts anymore....or we'll find one of her possessions lying around......
K's beautiful spirit will always live in our hearts!

As much as all of us are mourning K's absence in our lives, her husband is suffering 100 fold. Their 50th anniversary was coming at the end of June. We, and their 4 kids, were planning a surprise party for them. B and K were made for each other. I'm certain that B feels as if half of him has died. Please pray for B, as he faces the rest of his life without his soulmate.

Labels:

42 Comments:

At 4/14/2007 2:35 PM, Blogger Wandering Coyote said...

So sorry to hear of your friend's death. The baked bean thing made me smile though. I'm sure it'll make you smile when the pain is gone, too.

 
At 4/14/2007 3:27 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Thanks WC! We're kind of numb right now, but we do smile about her antics. ;)

 
At 4/14/2007 5:24 PM, Blogger Jeannie said...

So sorry about your friend. I'm sure you will miss her for ages. I love baked beans on toast too! It's an unusual request for a funeral but nice to have something special that is all her.

 
At 4/14/2007 6:56 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Thanks Jeannie!
I'm sure we'll get some funny looks when we serve this at the lunch. Too bad, it's what K wanted! You'd fit right in with our crew! ;)

 
At 4/14/2007 7:03 PM, Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Sorry about your loss, but she's in a better place now. It's a shame they didn't make their 50th. 50th to me is the most special thing in the world, because so few people make it together.

I don't think I could hold down a baked bean on bread sandwich. Yuck. But she'd probably say the same thing about my top ramen, tuna, and olive oil lunch.

 
At 4/14/2007 7:32 PM, Blogger SME said...

I'm sure there will be countless little reminders for a while...like not having to hide the jelly anymore to keep her from using all the strawberry. But I'm happy, too, that K didn't have to suffer for a long time. She's where she deserves to be now.

 
At 4/14/2007 8:00 PM, Blogger Squirl said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you know that you'll have plenty of fond memories of her. They'll hit you at the oddest moments. That's the way it is when we lose the ones we love so dearly.

I'm sending you great, big hugs! Hang in there, hon.

 
At 4/14/2007 8:05 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

ZS, you're right, K hated tuna! About 25 yrs ago, she went on a diet that involved a LOT of tuna. She never touched tuna again after she got off that diet. She always made a face when I'd eat tuna. ;)

I don't know how her husband will be able to make it through their anniversary. My heart aches for him!

SME, I'm sooo glad that I never said anything to her about the jelly! I guess that proves that life's little aggravations don't mean much in the end, do they?

That doesn't mean that you're off the hook for the shampoo on the hall wall though! ;)

 
At 4/14/2007 8:11 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Thanks Squirl! You're the one who understands this situation the most!
I know that those first few weeks at work will be the hardest. I don't want to break down in front of the customers.

 
At 4/14/2007 8:27 PM, Blogger greatwhitebear said...

My sincere condolances!

She obviously had good taste... baked bean sandwiches!

since I know that no owrds will really help.. I'll stop right here!

 
At 4/14/2007 8:53 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Thanks GWB!
I think you and Jeannie should send me some testimonials on baked bean sandwiches so people won't think we're totally out of our minds! ;)

 
At 4/15/2007 12:29 AM, Blogger SME said...

Yeah, the small stuff just isn't as important as it seems. But I admit it: I hate grape jelly. :)

 
At 4/15/2007 8:51 AM, Blogger Ryan said...

That's absolutely terrible... but fortunantly you have some good memories!!

Bean sandwich would actually be pretty good!!

 
At 4/15/2007 8:57 AM, Blogger tshsmom said...

SME, Z and I LOVE grape jelly; so do a LOT of other people. That's the problem...K wouldn't give ANYONE grape jelly!

Ryan, K was a HUGE part of my life for 20 years. Yeah, I have tons of great memories! Thanks!!

 
At 4/15/2007 10:18 AM, Blogger mister anchovy said...

It would be easy to love anyone who wanted bean sandwiches at their funeral. So sorry to read about your loss.

 
At 4/15/2007 11:10 AM, Blogger Bridget Jones said...

Tshsmom, so very very sorry for your loss (((((((((hugs)))))))).

Like the others, the baked bean sandwitches thing made me smile too. Hope it lightens your heart a litte.

Am glad for K that she isn't in pain (Alzheimers' would have been THE worst thing).

Agree with ZS, she is in a better place and with you too. Every so often I can smell or taste cigarette smoke. I know it's my dad visiting.

Hope that you get some signs like that too.

 
At 4/15/2007 12:41 PM, Blogger Gardenia said...

Wow, I'm so sorry. Having had a near death brush myself recently, this post hit me big time. I hope I am the kind of person that will engender such love with which you speak of your friend! Wonderful tribute - was this a sudden? And Yay for the baked bean sandwiches, hoorah, hoorah....I'm sure this great woman intended for everyone to smile when confronted with those sandwiches instead of cry!

 
At 4/15/2007 3:10 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Mr A, right-on! K was one of the most down to earth people I've ever met!

Bridg, it's weird that you would mention smell. I always smell Noxzema when my Grandma "visits".

Gardenia, it seems that we've both had a recent lesson on how fragile life can be.
It was sudden. K had surgery Wednesday morning, and was gone Friday night. We're all still in shock!

 
At 4/15/2007 8:55 PM, Blogger --R said...

My condolences... It's hard when someone goes so quickly. :( My thoughts are with you and your whole community!

 
At 4/15/2007 9:26 PM, Blogger Vancouver Voyeur said...

Oh I am so sorry for your loss and pain. K sounds like she was a pistol and a lot of fun to be around. You're so lucky to have shared so much of your life with her and shared so many wonderful moments. Hold onto those thoughts and be there for her husband. I'm sure he's lost without her. I'm bawling and I didn't even know her. Be sure to cuss her out while eating that baked bean sandwich, laughter helps ease the tears.

 
At 4/15/2007 10:15 PM, Blogger Sadie Lou said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I remember when my grandpa died. I felt so emotionally drained for so long I began to forget what "normal" felt like.
I pray for peace for you and those that will miss her...

 
At 4/16/2007 7:11 AM, Blogger tweetey29 said...

Hey there. I know I grew up there but do I know K. Just wondering. J came upstairs last night to watch some tv and he caught me crying over this post. He thought I was strange but I have lost so many people in the last few years its strange to cry for a stranger. But growing up in a town that small everyone knows what your doing and when your doing it.

 
At 4/16/2007 8:42 AM, Blogger Laura said...

That's so sad. I'm sorry for your loss.

 
At 4/16/2007 1:40 PM, Blogger zydeco fish said...

That's a very moving post, even with the beans. I am sorry to hear that you have lost a friend. She would have loved your post.

 
At 4/16/2007 5:14 PM, Blogger Squirl said...

Just stopped by to give you a great big hug!

 
At 4/16/2007 6:54 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

~r, thank you. It is hard for the living when a loved one goes so quickly!

VV, PISTOL is the perfect word for K!
I made it through work, and all the questions from customers, pretty well today. The only time I teared up was when K's husband came in.

Sadie, thanks for your prayers! The best thing I heard today was when K's husband said he wanted a joyful funeral for her. I know that's what she always wanted.

Tweets, I doubt if you knew K.

Thanks Laura!

Thanks ZF! It's hard to put into words what a wonderful person she was...I hope I did her justice.

Thanks Squirl! Hugs, from you, are ALWAYS appreciated!

 
At 4/16/2007 9:18 PM, Blogger Bridget Jones said...

((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

 
At 4/16/2007 9:52 PM, Blogger Shawn said...

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. It sucks when people we care about leave us. Hopefully you'll be able to keep the good memories in your heart.

 
At 4/17/2007 11:33 AM, Blogger Cherie said...

So sorry to hear about your heavy heart over the loss of your dear friend, K. It's hurts so bad - because you loved so good.

Aren't baked beans on toast a British thing? You are wonderful to keep your promise. A great tribute!

WC is right, it'll make you smile when the pain is gone.

Wish I were there to give you a hug!

 
At 4/17/2007 3:00 PM, Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

I'm very sorry to hear about K. She sounds like she was quite a gal - I love the "baked bean sandwiches", although I could not eat one. My thoughts are with you. :-)

 
At 4/17/2007 4:29 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Thanks Shawn! It's been a bad year for this stuff, hasn't it? :(

Cherie, so TRUE! I wouldn't trade my experiences with K for anything!
K was Swedish, so maybe her ancestors got the idea from the Brits. ;)

Notta, the women of the church were forewarned about the sandwiches. They LOVE the idea, and have been telling everyone.

 
At 4/17/2007 7:19 PM, Blogger SME said...

I can't imagine what a school shooting has to do with the death of a Baptist missionary from an infection. So far as I know, she didn't own any guns.

 
At 4/17/2007 7:35 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Thanks SME! You were commenting while I was deleting his shit!

Vest, as SME says, this is hardly the forum for your hate-filled rants! Our household, and community, is mourning the loss of a wonderful friend.

Yes, we lament the loss of all those young lives in Virginia! Guns are not the villain in this tragedy. A misguided psychopath, like YOU, is to blame for those deaths.

 
At 4/17/2007 11:38 PM, Blogger Hammer said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I will eat a baked bean sandwich in honor of your friend.

I've got a jar of B@M beans in the pantry.

 
At 4/18/2007 2:11 PM, Blogger Jason said...

So sorry for your loss, and B will be in my prayers.

 
At 4/18/2007 2:44 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Thanks Hammer, K would get a kick out of that.

Thanks Jason! B is like a lost puppy right now. His faith is the only thing holding him together.

 
At 4/19/2007 12:45 AM, Blogger MonicaR said...

(((Hugs))) to you Tshsmom. So sorry to hear about the sudden death of your friend. You and her family are in my prayers.

 
At 4/19/2007 6:54 AM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Thanks Monica! Your prayers are appreciated. We have to make it through the funeral today.

 
At 4/19/2007 8:20 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

You know what Vest? For some odd reason, I don't give a shit if you find me plausible!
Now go back and play with your imaginary friends and leave us real people alone.

 
At 4/21/2007 8:31 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

I don't smoke pot.
I don't drink to excess.
I'm not evangelical.
And most importantly; I don't comment on your demented blog.
Apology? Feel free to apologize for your foul demented ravings anytime you want.

 
At 4/25/2007 7:46 PM, Blogger alix said...

i just read this today. i'm so sorry. she sounds like she was a real character. i'll keep her husband in my thoughts...

 
At 4/26/2007 2:12 PM, Blogger tshsmom said...

Thanks Alix!
It's good to see you again! Don't be a stranger. ;)

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home