Monday, November 30, 2009


Z and I went over to my parents' house this afternoon. We finally got some snow, so Z shoveled their sidewalk while I talked with my parents.

They had just got off the phone with the chemo dept of our hospital. They changed Dad's chemo schedule by 2 days on Christmas week. They'll be hooking up his chemo-pump on Wednesday instead of Friday. He'll still have to go into the hospital to have the pump removed on Friday, which is Christmas Day. I jumped right in with: "Why don't you let us cook Christmas dinner?" Mom instantly agreed, but Dad was a hard-sell: "We already bought the turkey." I told them that was no problem. We'll cook dinner, with their turkey at our house, and package up all the leftovers for them to take home. Case closed. High five!

BTW, I'll be making the dessert too. ;)

Friday, November 27, 2009

Sometimes Ya Just Gotta Laugh!

A word of advice: Dementia and pie DON'T mix!

Our Thanksgiving dinner was "interesting" to say the least.

Traditionally, we host Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. My parents cook for Christmas Day and Easter. My Mom has always made the pies for Thanksgiving. This year we KNEW that my mother had failed to the point where pies would be a disaster....we were right.

Z and I TRIED to talk Mom into letting us bake the pies. My Dad has been doing all the cooking for the past couple of years, but Dad has NEVER baked! Dad was all for us baking the pies, but Mom insisted that it would be "No problem".

We knew we were in trouble the minute they walked through our door. Dad started ranting about how the crust "just wouldn't work right", and asked me what pie crust recipe I use. "I've always used Mom's recipe". Then Dad proceeded to make excuses for Mom by stating that a friend had stopped over with a deer heart and liver for their dog. OK, that story explains the burnt pumpkin pie in the top picture...BUT...WTF happened to the banana cream?! There's NO crust, the bananas are on top, and Mom obviously baked this whole mess, as the instant pudding is all cracked and shriveled and the bananas are gummy. Mom and Dad sampled a piece of pumpkin pie before they brought it over. They decided it would be OK to serve. Alrighty then...

Z took a peek at the pies when he put them in the fridge, and wisely opted out of dessert. L never has dessert right after dinner, but this year he foolishly decided to have his pie right away. As Mom was cutting the pumpkin pie, she asked us what kind we wanted. Dad and I said we wanted pumpkin, so Mom goes over and starts cutting the banana cream. "Ummm, Mom...the pumpkin pie is over there." "Oh, is it? OK."

Fortunately my parents don't hang around after dinner. (Long story. I'll explain it to you sometime.) It's a good thing they left because we all burst into laughter the minute they got in their car. Z immediately got his camera and took those pictures so he could email them to SME. We then called SME and Doug and we all laughed 'til our sides hurt. Laughter IS the best medicine! It beats the hell out of crying!

Our dinner conversation revolved around all the people who had died this past year. No matter how hard we tried to change the topic, my Mom kept changing it back to death. Z finally had enough and said: "Um Grandma...this isn't a real great subject for the Thanksgiving table." Mom smilingly agreed, then proceeded to tell us, for the 3rd time, about the phone call they received from a friend when their son died.

We had already discussed trying to talk my parents into letting us have Christmas dinner at our house. Meals have become "iffy" over there. Dad tries to cook, Mom gets in the way and then they start bickering! Portions have become increasingly skimpy and either over or under cooked. My parents expect us to go over there at noon and spend the whole day there. This year my Dad has an unreasonable aversion to putting up their Christmas decorations. Z says he refuses to spend Christmas Day listening to my folks' bickering and watching Grandpa nap, while FoxNews drones in the background, in an undecorated house. L and I agree.

Now we just need to diplomatically convince my parents that they would have a more relaxing Christmas Day at our house....wish us luck.

Thursday, November 26, 2009


I've spent this month trying to get into the holiday spirit. This is my favorite time of the year and I REFUSE to let our circumstances control my psyche! Easier said than done. A special THANK YOU to Cherie for her daily November posts. You've helped me more than you'll ever know!

Home projects, my husband's constant tinkering with this new computer, internet problems, getting used to trifocals, finding a new dentist and optometrist, and the constant, demeaning drama with my parents has prevented me from participating in the blog-world. I'll post about all of this later. Today is the time for me to count my blessings.

I'm thankful...

...that my kids are healthy, especially SME, who was strong enough to recently battle two bouts of the flu.

...that we have a warm home, food, clothing, and clean water.

...that we still have jobs.

...for the loving support of family and friends through the past year.

...for the skill, and tools, required to complete our recent home improvements.

...that we have been able to afford to repair, or replace, everything that has broken down this year.

...that MNCARE FINALLY(I've been jumping through their hoops all month) approved our re-enrollment for another year of health insurance.

...that I don't have to travel anywhere today.

I am praying for my cousin J, who is enduring her first holiday season, in almost 50 years, without her husband.

I wish a safe and fulfilling Thanksgiving to all my blog-friends who are celebrating today! I LOVE and appreciate ALL of you!

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Question of the Day

IF he really loved me, wouldn't he do everything in his power to give me the will to live beyond the age of 60?

Yes, he KNOWS what I need! We've discussed this hundreds of times over the past 30 yrs. It's a basic human need. In my mind it's rather a small issue, but has grown to gargantuan proportions with time. A year ago I laid all my cards on the table and pleaded with him to end the pain, emptiness and humiliation this issue is causing me.

He said he understood what I'm saying...he'd think about it and get back to me....that was a year ago...