For Squirl

When I opened our kitchen curtains this morning, a red squirrel dove off our bird feeder and left these tracks. I instantly thought of my blogbuddy, Squirl. I couldn't resist sharing this with you Squirly!

WORK UPDATE: The boss' son, BS (isn't this appropriate?), didn't ditch his limited work schedule for boinking this week. The dishwasher, DW, didn't show up for work on Wednesday. BS's response? "She PROMISED me she'd be here today." My response? "She's as reliable as a 2-day-old baby with the shits, and NO DIAPER!"
Thursday morning, DW showed up like nothing had happened, again. BS lives next door to the restaurant. So every chance she got, DW would sneak over to his house. My co-worker, CW, would then get on the phone, and call her back to work. DW was actually stupid enough to answer the phone EVERY TIME, and BS has caller ID! The 4th time this happened, CW told her: "I don't care what you do with YOUR time, but don't screw with the BOSS' time!"
On Friday DW proudly announced that our Boss had called BS and told him that she was going to have a talk with DW when she gets home. (Yes, CW called our Boss and told her what's been going on.) WTF, DW?! Do you honestly think that this will be a fun talk? WTF are you expecting? Maybe a promotion for your sterling work history? *shaking head and muttering*

SCHOOL UPDATE: We will be taking Candace's excellent advice by taking the coming week off from homeschooling. We will be using the time to tackle the disastrous mess in Z's room. I'm dividing the room into 7 sections and printing up a schedule, just like an assignment sheet. We'll tackle one area/day. Hopefully his room will be totally reorganized by next Sunday. I hope to be posting before and after pictures of this mammoth project.

SHAMELESS PLUG: Check out Z's blog www.homeschoolkid.blogspot.com, for a brilliant post on the "Elmo Phenomenon".

I'm hoping that this week will go smoother and I'll have more time to blog. I'm not counting on it though.

Busy!

I just lived through the week from hell. I'm hoping this week will be better.

My boss left on a 3 week vacation last week. She deserves it. The lady works 17 hrs a day, 5 days a week, and 7 hrs on Saturday. We're all taking up the slack in her absence. Everybody but her son, who she left "in charge". He's too busy boinking the morning dishwasher! Neither of them showed up for work on Thursday. That leaves 4 of us doing the work of 7 people. I could rant forever on this subject, but I don't have the time.

Our clothes dryer died last week. It's only 2 years old! It would cost $200 to repair or $299 for a new dryer. We bought a new dryer. The good news is that we spring cleaned our laundry room. The bad news is, it took us all day Saturday to empty out the laundry room so we could get the old dryer out and the new dryer in. *sigh*

We've been jumping through hoops trying to get a building permit for our garage. We have a HUGE yard (120ft x 200ft). Yet we're having a hard time placing a garage within the ridiculous setbacks the county demands. We finally got the final figures from the county on Friday. Now I have to draw a scale drawing of the property and garage placement. Then I take the application to the sewer district office for their approval. They have to make sure the garage won't be on any sewer lines. Then I take the application back to the courthouse for final approval, hopefully.

We're trying out a new system for Z's schoolwork. Z and I developed the plan with the help of his psychologist. I'll keep you posted on how this works.

Z's psychologist also said that cleaning Z's room MUST be a top priority. With Z's Executive Dysfunction, he'll probably NEVER be able to keep it organized on his own. We have to guide him every step of the way. The last time the 3 of us cleared Z's room, it took us 2 weeks! WHERE does this woman think we're going to find the time to do this RIGHT NOW?

Hairry has decided that his poop makes a yummy snack. Now we have to make sure that Z keeps the yard turd free. Anybody that's ever had a teenager, knows that this is easier said than done!

Right now, I have to get 3 birthday and 1 anniversary card ready to mail tomorrow. I also have to get the vegetables on the pot roast I have cooking in the oven. See ya later!

Mad Rocks!

I copied the picture below out of Z's current Mad magazine. It's their version of the Pledge of Allegiance with corporate sponsors. Say it aloud, as you would the Pledge of Allegiance, to get the full effect.

Money Talks.....

On a Lighter Note

Check out the comments on my I Hooked One! post from March 3rd. I'm hooking more on this post than I did on the original.

My Therapy

Thanks everyone for your kind comments, moral support, and advice on my previous post. I shared my emotions as a form of therapy. The only people I have discussed this with are SME and my boss, whose daughter was molested by her paternal grandfather. She, also, didn't reveal her "secret" to her mother until she was in her late 20s. My husband internalizes EVERYTHING. He said, in my comments, that he would post about this on his blog. I hope he does. He needs to get it out too. We haven't told my parents about this as my Mom has already gone bald from worrying about stupid things she can't change. I'm certain that my Dad would kill Billy, and we don't need Grandpa spending his twilight years in prison.

The other reason I posted on this subject was to help my readers. Hopefully, none of you parents have had to deal with this trauma. If you have, feel comforted that we were just as clueless as you were. SME said: "Molesters are the sneakiest people going; they seduce entire families, not just kids."

We had the "good touch, bad touch" talk with SME, sometime before she started school. She always knew that she could tell us ANYTHING, and frequently confided in us. Why couldn't she tell us THIS time? She doesn't know. As she said on her blog: "in my case it didn't come to light at all until roughly a year ago, at age 27. I kept it a secret until that time out of guilt, shame, and discomfort; like many victims, I made excuses for the person who molested me, hoping he had reformed. Since he was a veteran with alcohol-abuse issues, I felt he didn't "deserve" to be punished. I've seen other victims make the same kinds of rationalizations."

The above picture of our daughter was taken when she was 5. She thinks that was how old she was when Billy molested her. While going through our family album, I noticed that this was also the age when SME started pulling out her eyelashes. SME and I are now wondering if this was a sign.

I'm hoping that SME will take the excellent advice of Vancouver Voyeur and Bridget Jones. SME, check your email. I've sent you the address of the county attorney. Just write her a letter, explaining what happened. That way, if someone else accuses Billy of molestation, they have another victim to verify their story.
It's always bothered SME, that he is probably abusing other kids. This would be the easiest way to establish a "paper trail" of Billy's behavior for the authorities.


This is Buddy, SME's childhood guardian. We're so sorry, Buddy, that we didn't listen to you when you warned us about Billy. We should have let you chew his sorry ass up!

RAGE!!!!

Since my daughter, SME, has decided to go public on this part of her life, I feel free to vent my feelings on this subject. Please check out her excellent post on pedophilia titled: A Difficult Issue, at www.blueapples85.blogspot.com.

About a year ago, SME told us that she had been molested by a family friend. I instantly felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach! Bile rose in my throat. My hand clutched the phone in a death grip. All the blood drained from my head, and I came close to passing out.

WHO? Images of everyone who had EVER come in contact with my child flooded my brain.
BILLY. You weak, feeble, SON-OF-A-BITCH!!
HOW? No penetration; thank God! Fondling my innocent, gentle little girl...what sense of entitlement made you do this, you ASSHOLE!!
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US? She didn't understand what was happening, at the time it happened. Confusion, shame, fear of our reaction.
Questions whirled around in my head; there were no answers. Bottom line....we failed to protect our baby girl!! I'M GONNA KILL THAT FUCKER!!!

Billy was the husband of my co-worker. We would get together. every couple of weeks, to play boardgames. Billy was a Vietnam veteran. He suffered from flashbacks and was inconsolable about having killed children in Vietnam. Billy was an alcoholic and a heavy marijuana user. L frequently dragged Billy out of neighborhood bars and brought him to our house to sober up. About a year after we met him, Billy went to AA and sobered up.

We were friends with Billy for 2 years. Then his marriage broke up. We remained friends with his wife for 2 more years; until her promiscuous lifestyle became too much for us. SME was 4 when we met him and 6 when he was out of our lives forever; or so I thought. We're not sure if it was the drunk or the sober Billy that molested our daughter. Does it matter?

How could this have happened? We were ALWAYS in the house when Billy was molesting SME. Her bedroom was next to the bathroom. He would go in her room, after we had put her to bed. We thought he was in the bathroom. Billy would read to SME, or set her on his lap at the kitchen table. The sick bastard was fondling her right in front of us!! Imagine how confusing this is to a 5 yr old child. I HATE you for this, you SICK FUCK!!

We had absolutely NO CLUE that this was going on. Were there signs? Not that I know of. His family is well respected in our community. Billy loved children, and was an irresponsible, big kid himself. I broke up numerous physical fights between he and his wife. It was ALWAYS his wife doing the hitting. Billy would just helplessly try to restrain her. In retrospect, the only sign we had was that our dog didn't like Billy. We always said that Buddy was a good judge of character. We should have listened to him. Buddy HAD to know what was going on; he always slept in the doorway of SME's bedroom. Also, about this time, SME became less cuddly and huggy. We just thought this was a sign she was growing up and trying to be a big girl. Could this have been a sign?

I'm trying to deal with my rage over this betrayal. I'm thankful that I haven't run into Billy since I found out what he's done. I don't trust myself to get within 10 feet of the sorry son-of-a-bitch. Serving time in prison for killing or maiming him would destroy my family. SME doesn't want to press charges. I don't know if she'd be believed in court anyway. This happened over 20 yrs ago and we have no proof.

How do we protect our children from molestation when it happens right under our noses? How do we recognize the predators?

Tic Enlightenment

I found the following explaination of ticcing on a TS message board. It was written by an adult with TS.
I've read a lot of technical information on the neurological cause of tics, but this person gave me much appreciated insight on how it actually feels:


"one thing i thought of is that i think it helps to think of having TS sort of like having a certain amount of tic energy in you that has to go somewhere, like an engine that has to idle. where the energy goes almost doesn't even matter, it just has to go somewhere, and it goes into tics. that's sort of a weird way to say it i guess because in me it really is more like my mind has to feel something, something has to happen, so i let the tic's happen and i feel ok. anyway ... sometimes it (tic energy let's call it) goes into obvious tics that someone can see, eye blinking, or touching your forehead, or scratching the most subtle itch on your body, or sometimes it's a thought that happens inside your head like a song that repeats over and over, or some sort of noise you need to make and/or hear, or a thought you have over and over, etc. but it's kind of like something has to happen, there's no stopping it for long, and trying to resist is an exercise in futility and just causes you a lot of anxiety. sometimes i've found i can be successful at not tic'ing in a way that anyone would notice for short periods of time but eventually the dam breaks and the waters rush in, and i have to go somewhere and just tic a while and relax a little bit."


On the homefront, TS and OCD issues are getting a bit blurred. When Z sat down to dinner last night, he quickly looked over both shoulders several times. When I asked him if this was a new tic, he said- "No. OCD. I have to look over my shoulder to make sure that nobody is behind me." Oh goody! Now his OCD behaviors are looking like tics!

We must differentiate between the two, because we're working with his psychologist to stop OCD behaviors. Tics we ignore. When we identify an OCD behavior, we try to nip it in the bud by talking through it. By not following through with his compulsion, Z learns that nothing bad will happen. If nothing bad happens enough times, the obsession goes away (hopefully).

Z couldn't sleep Saturday night because his huffing tic wouldn't let him relax enough to sleep. This frustrated him, which made the tic worse, as stress always does. Yesterday I printed out some breathing/relaxation techniques for him. Hopefully this will help.

Z's huffing tic, combined with his hand twitching/fluttering tic, makes it very difficult for him to study right now. He keeps setting his materials down so he can tic. Tomorrow we'll have him prop his book up on the kitchen table, so he can tic and read at the same time. We're hoping this will help.

Z wants his tics to change SOON, but we've all learned to be careful what we wish for.

I Hooked One!

Remember my Quixtar is AMWAY post from October 12th? I wrote that post as an experiment. My daughter had previously posted on Amway and received comments, for several months, from irate Amway distributors and from people who had been scammed by this pyramid scheme.

I have been too busy to check the comments on this post, until today. It seems that, tan-one, took exception to our comments. Tan-one has a blog dedicated to WWDB(World Wide Dream Builders), another Amway alias.
Here's what tan-one has to say:

"I get such a kick out of all your responses. You use words like, lure, cult, victim, and weird. Clearly you don't understand the true nature of the Quixtar business. Yes, Quixtar is a sister company to Amway, and yes the IBO's, of which I am one, do sell cleaning products, as well as personal care, nutrition, and many others. In fact the Nutrilite nutrition products are a 70 year old business, are completely organic, and sell more than any competitive product line in the world.Just admit that you are not interested in it. As for the zombieslayer I know dozens of people building huge businesses affiliated with Quixtar. You just aren't looking, or don't have the inclination to see the trugh about it. If any of you sat down with me you would find out all the information you would need to make a decision, who the companies are and their relationship, what the products are, the compensation program, the support and training programs. The bottom line now is that the ecommerce aspect of the Quixtar business is in the right place at the right time, and is growing substantially. It is not for everybody, but then whatever you do for a living isn't for everybody either."

Nothing new here; same old rhetoric. I'll have to remember to check this post now and then to see if I "hook" anybody else.

Now if I could only "hook" someone with my Tyler Amdahl post....

HUH?

President Bush revealed his new health care "plan?" in his State of the Union Address. My first response was "Huh?". My second response was-"There HAS to be more to it than THIS!" Bush's "plan?", has been getting a lot of press lately. I've been reading EVERY article; trying to make sense of this "plan?".

Here's the "plan?", in a nutshell. OK, the "plan?"IS a nutshell! I'm giving you the WHOLE "plan?".
All uninsured Americans will buy a high-deductible health insurance policy from the company of their choice. This will create competition in the insurance industry, and drive down policy costs. SURE IT WILL!
Next, and here's the exciting part, the new policy holders will open up a special savings account. Here, they can deposit up to their deductible amount. Every year! Tax free! This escrow account can only be used to pay medical expenses that aren't covered by the cheapo health insurance policy. Young people, who are supposedly a lot healthier, will have a HUGE health care "nest egg", when they get older and unhealthier. REALLY?
That's all folks. End of "plan?".

Just for fun, let's put some figures into the "plan?".

L and I have a combined yearly gross income of $38,000.
Let's say that we can get a policy for $600/month with a $5000/person/year deductible. The premium will cost us $7200/year or 19% of our gross income.
Now we're liable for the first $5000 of EACH of our medical expenses. Let's say we have a good year and spend only $2000 on medical expenses for the 3 of us.
Our bill budget is $1360/month or $16,320/year.
Then we have food and gas at about $375/month or $4500/year.
This comes to a yearly total of $30,020.
This leaves us $7980/year for taxes, clothing, car and home maintainance and repair, entertainment, school supplies, gifts, toiletries, glasses, dental bills, and whatever else comes up in everyday life.

First of all, where do we get the $5000 apiece to put into that cute little "escrow account"? Tax free? Sorry, but most of us "poor folks" don't make enough to itemize, so tax free is a moot point. In addition, the last time I looked, savings accounts were earning 1/4% interest. That's not going to build that "nest egg" very well!

How many of the millions of uninsured Americans are going to jump right into this plan? My guess is......NOT MANY! And this is going to solve the problem of the high cost of medical care HOW?

C'mon Bush! Let's put some of the GREAT minds of this country to work on coming up with a REALISTIC "plan?"!

Here's my plan..... How about Bush and our congressmen putting all the kickbacks they've received from the insurance companies into an escrow account for all the uninsured Americans?